Okay, let me start by saying I’m terrible at sports games. Like, really bad. But when I saw a game called Soccer Bros, I thought, “Hey, I like soccer. I have bros. Let’s try this.” What followed was one of the most ridiculous, fun, and slightly rage-inducing online games I’ve played in a while.
You control one character in a team of two. That’s it. Sounds simple, right? WRONG. The moment the match started, I immediately ran into a wall, missed the ball, and accidentally tackled my teammate. It was chaos. Glorious, pixelated chaos.
The characters in Soccer Bros are hilarious. There’s one guy who looks like a ninja, one that’s just way too fast for his own good, and another who kicks the ball like it owes him money. Each one plays totally differently, which I didn’t realize at first… until I picked a slow character and got destroyed by a tiny speed demon flying all over the field.
The controls are basic, but you have to time everything just right. I kept hitting the wrong button and passing the ball to the other team. But honestly? I didn’t even care. The game was so wild that even losing felt kind of fun.
Matches are short, which is great because I need frequent breaks to recover from how hard I’m laughing. One time, I used my super move and the ball bounced off the goalpost and smacked me in the face. I lost, but I looked cool doing it (kind of).
If you’re looking for a super serious soccer sim, this isn’t it. But if you want a weird little game that lets you kick flaming soccer balls and body-slam your way to victory (or hilarious defeat), Soccer Bros is the way to go. Just don’t expect to win your first match. Or your tenth.